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Jun. 11th, 2007

monkey

pace of life!


The wierdest thing possible in this entire universe -- and every other universe that did, do, or might exist -- is the pace at which life moves!
I would sersiously love to know who decides it, mannN!! 
and the logic behind the decisions - that's if at all there is any logic!

Just when it should halt, it will fly!
   -- always, with the speed of light - or more, perhaps!
and then comes the time, when the life should actually fly
   -- with the speed of light - or more, perhaps!

but that's exactly when, it plans to halt - and have some rest on the way!

Guess that's what mine is doing these days! 
Really wish and hope -- and want -- and desire -- that it restarts again!
and soon enough, 
for me to be able to feel it moving...

as am scared every passing day makes me a little more numb!
numb towards everythying existing around, 
and also towards all that doesn't!

best part of it -- and also the worst in a way,
is that am getting used to the numbness within me, 
and around!

Jun. 3rd, 2007

monkey

void of emptiness


A little lost, and a lot anticipating
as I sit in front of this obedient machine,
thinking,
what to write...

I can't help but think,
why to write?

they say it is an outlet for thoughts stuffed within,
good thoughts, bad thoughts
ugly, scary ones...
and the beautiful, dreamy ones...
all need an outlet,
    and pouring them out helps!
they say, 
writing is a sure-shot way to get there!!

but I don't need an outlet...
do I?

the emptiness within,
the dark, black hole...
needs,
some stuffing, perhaps!

eating words...
faking them...
dumping thoughts...
facing the truths...
believing in dreams...
       --- nothing seems to work...

now,
even the emptiness seems lost,
      -- still no stuffing!
the darkness diminished,
     -- no trace of light!

left behind...

a void,
       -- of emptiness,
and that,
      -- of its absence!

May. 23rd, 2007

monkey

random


"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation"

-Kahlil Gibran
________________________________________________

"and so does hatred!!"

-known_stranger9
Tags: ,

May. 22nd, 2007

monkey

Found myself back!


Don't know if I can still say that am HAPPY now...
but am more than just sure that I can finally say, 
that am not sad anymore! :-)

Not sad, because
your thoughts don't haunt me at night, now!

the longing to be with you,
            to have you in my arms,
is gone, forever, now!

the pain, aggravated by your mere presence around,
doesn't hurt anymore, now!

Now that you are not there,
I am not crying,
didn't cry for quite some time, indeed!
Now that you are not there,
I am not lonely,
strange, it is...
how being with some people,
puts you through the pain of loneliness,
and sometimes, being with none,
relieves you of the same!

guess, it's all about losing yourself!!!

and now,
I have found myself back!!

Apr. 30th, 2007

monkey

the only OPTION..!!


Feeling trapped...
        in a dead place...
with dead creatures around...

Creatures,
for whom smiling is a task,
and so is talking...

Creatures,
wrapped from head-to-toe;
in groupism;
             -- based on,
language;
ethnicity;
color;
race...
everything...!!

Creatures,
who would look at you,
quietly;
          -- when you are not looking,
but,
won't pass a smile,
     -- to make you feel a little better!!

The divide between the genders is sooO DAMN vast;
        -- that you JUZZ can't bridge it...
and where, people transcending it,
do not exist,
for they fall inside the HUGE gap between the two;
and get lost there!!!

Such a DEAD place,
      but am still surviving in here,
for survival IS the only;
OPTION 
          -- am FUCKING left with..!!!

Apr. 27th, 2007

monkey

Pack Up!!


The clock is ticking...
the time, slipping...
my hands as empty as ever...
nothing achieved, nor left to achieve...

the very first symptoms showing up...
the very first voices heard...
making me see what I don't wanna see...
and hear what I cannot hear...

is it the absence of something...
or presence of a lot?
the fear of losing...
or, am I dreading what I've got?

whatever it is...
or it is not...
am done with it all,
           -- done with my share of everything,
           -- of you, of me... and the gap between us,
           -- the smiles and the tears,
           -- the hearts and the stones,

and now,
it IS...

TIME for pack-up!!!

Apr. 24th, 2007

monkey

Full-Stop!



It's all over...
So is me...

Trapped between the two fish-nets, 
                am waiting for the "missing" end,
                and scared to the hilt...
    of the same...

the destined full-stop!!!
Tags:

Apr. 19th, 2007

monkey

If you go away!!

If you go away on this summer's day,
Then you might as well take the sun away
All the birds that flew in the summer sky
When our love was new and our hearts were high
When the day was young and the nights were long
And the moon stood still for the night bird's song
If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.

But if you stay, I'll make you a day
Like no day has been, or will be again
We'll sail on the sun, we'll ride on the rain
And talk to the trees and worship the wind
But if you go, I'll understand
Leave me just enough love to fill up my hand
If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.

If you go, as I know you will
You must tell the world to stop turning
Till you return again, if you ever do,
For what good is love without loving you?
Can I tell you now, as you turn to go
I'll be dying slowly till the next hello
If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.

But if you stay, I'll make you a night
Like no night has been, or will be again
I'll sail on your smile, I'll ride on your touch
I'll talk to your eyes that I love so much
But if you go, I won't cry
Though the good is gone from the word goodbye
If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.

If you go away, as I know you must
There is nothing left in this world to trust
Just an empty room, full of empty space
Like the empty look I see on your face
I'd have been the shadow of your shadow
If you might have kept me by your side
If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.
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Apr. 13th, 2007

monkey

My Insanity!


Sometimes,

the intensity with which silence shouts;

the colorful luminance of dark, moonless nights;

the darkness behind the sunlight;

the loneliness behind being with people;

the defeat accompanying every victory;

the end obscured by every beginning;

the messages conveyed by blank sheets of paper;

the hopelessness of hope;

the painful split behind the smiling rainbow;

and,

the heartlessness of heartbeats –-

--scare the hell out of me!


But,

more often than not,

 

the void created by your presence

-- worsened by your absence,

is what freaks me out to the hilt…

-- enough to bang my brains against the walls of non-existent emotions,

Till the time,

all my senses flow out with blood,

and,

am left behind,

all alone --

Just me and My Insanity!!

Apr. 12th, 2007

monkey

Ring the Alarm...!!



Ring the alarm, as now the sound is dying...
    Ring the alarm, as now the sound is lying...
Ring the alarm, as now the sound is choking...
    Ring the alarm, as now the sound is...

             dyinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!
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